Top Albums of 2011

ALTERNATIVE
Foo Fighters – Wasting Light (Hard Alternative Rock/Pop)
Portugal. The Man – In the Mountain In the Cloud (Indie/Alternative Rock)
Primus – Green Naugahyde (Alternative/Funk/Rock)
Puscifer – Conditions of My Parole (Alternative/Experimental)
Radiohead – the King of Limbs (Alternative/Experimental)
the Red Hot Chili Peppers – I’m With You (Alternative Rock/Funk/Pop)
Rival Schools – Pedals (Hard Alternative Rock)

FOLK
Bon Iver – Bon Iver (Indie/Folk/Pop)
Eddie Vedder – Ukulele Songs (Folk)
Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues (Indie/Folk)
Kurt Vile – Smoke Ring For My Halo (Indie/Folk)
Thurston Moore – Demolished Thoughts (Alternative/Folk)

HIP HOP
the Beastie Boys – Hot Sauce Committee Part II (Rap/Hip Hop)
the Roots – Undun (Rap/Hip Hop)
Talib Kweli – Gutter Rainbows (Rap/Hip Hop)

INDIE
Company of Thieves – Running from a Gamble (Indie Rock)
Stateless – Matilda (Electro/Indie)
Tune-Yards – W H O K I L L (Experimental/Indie)
TV on the Radio – Nine Types of Light (Indie Rock/Alternative)
Vetiver – the Errant Charm (Indie Rock/Folk)
Yukon Blonde – Fire/Water (Indie Rock)

METAL
Animals as Leaders – Weightless (Progressive Metal/Instrumental/Djent/Fusion)
Between the Buried and Me – The Parallax: Hypersleep  Dialogues (Progressive Grind Metal)
Chaos Divine – The Human Connection (Progressive Metal)
Circles – the Compass (Progressive Metal/Djent)
Corelia – Nostalgia (Progressive Metal/Djent)
Cynic – Carbon-Based Anatomy (Progressive Metal/Fusion)
The Devin Townsend Project – Deconstruction (Progressive Extreme Metal)
the Haunted – Unseen (Melodic Death Metal)
the Human Abstract – Digital Veil (Progressive Metalcore)
Leprous – Bilateral (Progressive Metal)
Mastodon – The Hunter (Progressive Doom Metal/Rock)
Monstro – Monstro (Doom Metal/Hard Rock)
Protest the Hero – Scurrilous (Progressive Metal/Thrash/Punk)
Red Seas Fire – Red Seas Fire (Progressive Metal/Djent)
Revocation – Chaos of Forms (Death/Thrash Metal)
Scale the Summit – the Collective (Progressive Metal/Instrumental)
TesseracT – One (Progressive Metal/Djent)
Textures – Dualism (Progressive Metal/Djent)

ELECTRO
Bjork – Biophilia (Experimental/Pop)
James Blake – James Blake (Indie/Experimental)
SBTRKT – SBTRKT (Electro)

POP
The Black Keys – El Camino (Alternative/Blues/Rock)
Foster the People – Torches (Indie Rock/Pop)
Gotye – Making Mirrors (New Age/Indie/Pop)
Jamie Woon – Mirrorwriting (Pop)
The Joy Formidable – The Big Roar (Alternative Rock/Pop)
Little Dragon – Ritual Union (Electro/Pop)
Mayer Hawthorne – How Do You Do (Motown/Soul)
Mutemath – Odd Soul (Pop/Rock)
Sublime with Rome – Yours Truly (Alternative/Pop)

PROGRESSIVE ROCK
The Dear Hunter – The Color Spectrum (Progressive Rock/Alternative)
the Devin Townsend Project – Ghost (Progressive Rock/New Age)
Fair to Midland – Arrows & Anchors (Progressive Rock/Metal)
Opeth – Heritage (Progressive Rock/Metal)
3 – The Ghost You Gave to Me (Progressive Rock/Metal)

PUNK/HARDCORE
Glassjaw – Coloring Book (Post Hardcore/Punk)
Le Butcherettes – Sin Sin Sin (Punk/Alternative Rock)
Thrice – Major/Minor (Hard Alternative Rock/Punk)

MY TOP 10
1. Gotye – Making Mirrors
2. Kurt Vile – Smoke Ring For My Halo
3. Foo Fighters – Wasting Light
4. TesseracT – One
5. Radiohead – the King of Limbs
6. Bon Iver – Bon Iver
7. Stateless – Matilda
8. the Black Keys – El Camino
9. Rival Schools – Pedals
10. the Joy Formidable – the Big Roar

Party on.

Bands that are ‘Metal as Fuck’

So I’m listening to Revocation right now and I was like “Holy shit this is fucking metal.”  (Made ever more apparent by the fact that I’ve been listening almost exclusively to folk music for the past three weeks.)  If anything is ‘Metal as Fuck’ THIS is.  Then I was like, “What other bands are ‘Metal as Fuck’?” This could be an interesting point of discussion, one that may or may not be related to the origin of species.  A subject that requires great insight and delicate analysis into the realm of ‘Metality’, and thus, I scrub my iPod.

Being the nerd that I am; Here are a bunch of other bands I think are ‘Metal as Fuck’.

Lamb of God – Lamb of God are fucking Metal, like holy shit. I don’t care what anyone says, I just can’t help but make this face every time I listen to them.  It’s retarded how Metal they are.  If Metal was a kingdom, they would be the rulers and pillagers.  They would rape all in their path. Randy’s growl alone could take down an army.  An army of tanks made of bullets and steaks.  Steel steaks.  Metal. As. Fuck.

Slayer – I have to include Slayer because they’re apparently the undisputed ‘Most Metal band ever’ according to most people.  I don’t even really listen to them at all, and couldn’t name hardly any of their songs, but Reign in Blood is fucking awesome.  I listened to it the other day.  Seriously, it’s undeniable.  Slayer, I salute you in all your ‘Metal-as-Fuck’-ness.

Meshuggah – Easily one of my favourite bands, they melt my brain. Crazy rhythms abound, and unrelenting, demonic-sounding vocals, with super heavy riffing. The music just pulsates and never stops, and just when you can’t take it any more, the grooves get even heavier, deeper, and more unrelenting.  They’re like a Metal Sauna.  Jens Kidman says it best.

Pantera – Holy fuck, Dimebag Darrell is fucking awesome. Just listen to ‘Mouth For War‘ and tell me that song is not fucking awesome. Seriously, what can you say?  The man could play guitar better than most dudes can jerk themselves off. No homo. Fuck!

Behemoth – They’re so metal that Leukemia couldn’t even kill them!  The Metality cannot be stopped with this band.  Just one of the most epic, demonic, brutal bands ever.  And they don’t give a shit about your religions or your laws surrounding them.  They will burn the bible in front of you and you will learn to love it… Mainly because they won’t ever stop… Sort of like hell… In an Atheistic sort of way… Yeah.

Strapping Young Lad – Fuckin’ Canadian Metal eh!  National allegiances aside, Strapping ruled the roost for a significant period of time.  Devin was all like, “I’m gonna try my hardest to be as heavy as fuck all the fucking time and make you think I’m fucking crazy.”  Then he stopped smoking weed and everything got very mellow… Unless you listened to Deconstruction, like holy shit.  Plus Gene Hoglan played drums, enough said.

Arch EnemyThis band has a female singer that is more metal than 99% of dudes screaming their balls off on the entire planet.  Angela’s more metal than the tinman!  She’ll eat your soul I swear. She might be smokin’ hot, but stay away from that one, she was sent straight from hell just to scare the crap out of us and eat us alive.  Meh, I’d still hit it.

Cannibal Corpse – Cannibal Corpse are seriously fucking metal. Are you gonna tell me they’re not? Cause you’d be so wrong.  There is nothing in the world that would be more wrong.  Maybe like… Babies raping dogs… or vice-versa, but Cannibal Corpse probably have a song about that.  Remember that part in Ace Ventura when Ace goes through that Metal show to find that researcher dude? New England Clam Chowder. White.

Amon Amarth – They’re fucking vikings.

Dethklok – Their fans will risk their livese to see them live.  The band does not care if the fans live or die at their performances.  They are the seventh largest global economy.  There are dead, rotting employees clogging their drainage pipes in their Lair. They have henchmen.

Honourable mentions: EmperorEntombed, The Faceless, The Red Chord, Revocation(duh!)

I’m sure there are other ‘Metal as Fuck’ bands out there that I am so obviously omitting, but I care not.  I either do not like those bands, consider them not to be 100% ‘Metal as Fuck’ , haven’t discovered them yet, or I’m too fucking lazy and don’t give a shit.  So fuck off.

Thanks for reading.  Let the haterade begin.

My Best of 2009

10. Pearl Jam – Backspacer
9. Mastodon – Crack the Skye
8. Mos Def – The Ecstatic
7. the Devin Townsend Project – Ki
6. Alice in Chains – Black Gives Way to Blue
5. Them Crooked Vultures – Them Crooked Vultures
4. Fever Ray – Fever Ray
3. Miike Snow – S/T
2. Portugal. The Man – The Satanic Satanist
1. the Devin Townsend Project – Addicted!

Honourable mentions:

Company of Thieves – Ordinary Riches
Chylde – Now it Can Be Told
Every Time I Die – New Junk Aesthetic
He Is Legend – It Hates You
John Frusciante – The Empyrean
Kylesa – Static Tensions
Lamb of God – Wrath
the Mars Volta – Octahedron
Thrice – Beggars
Alexisonfire – Old Crows/Young Cardinals
Between the Buried and Me – The Great Misdirect
Muse – The Resistance
the Temper Trap – Conditions
Austrian Death Machine – Double Brutal
Behemoth – Evangelion
Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest
Matthew Good – Vancouver
Apostle of Hustle – Eats Darkness
Balmorhea – All is Wild, All is Silent
Charlotte Gainsbourg – IRM
Clutch – Strange Cousins from the West
The Decemberists – the Hazards of Love
Dredg – The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion
Eminem – Relapse
the Junction – Another Link in the Chain
Katatonia – Night is the New Day
Killswitch Engage – S/T
Baroness – Blue Record
Megadeth – Endgame
the Red Chord – Fed Through the Teeth Machine
3 – Revisions
Blakroc – S/T
the Dead Weather – Horehound
Dethklok – the Deth Album II
ISIS – Wavering Radiant
Keith Merrow – the Arrival
Omar Rodriguez-Lopez – Old Money
Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Porcupine Tree – The Incident
Revocation – Existence is Futile
Threat Signal – Vigilance
the Used – Artwork
Wilco – S/T
Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion
St. Vincent – Actor
Monsters of Folk – S/T

Accept it!

J